The Healing Journey
“We focus on the natural world, noticing the powerful medicine that is held in green and growing things, and the air, light, and water that sustain them. These are the same elements that sustain us - we are also all growing our own medicine, as we are growing our own healing potential.”
About the collection
This collection is inspired by my journey of healing and personal growth. In the midst of a difficult separation and eventual divorce, I started filling my home with indoor plants. There was something satisfying about taking care of living things. Paying attention, understanding the conditions each plant needs for thriving, moving them around in my home and testing light sources, keeping track of watering schedules.
While I nurtured the plants, I was also nurturing myself – observing and attending to my own needs: sleep; water time/surf; being around people who cared about my well-being; and alone time to process my grief. Journaling, meandering walks, and bath bombs also helped. I am an extrovert who’s good at making plans and not good at staying home and doing nothing. The plants helped to keep me in check. Was I home enough to water my plants regularly? Was I giving myself enough rest and self-care?
What was I trying to heal from?
Pain.
The pain of lost love. The pain of abandonment (as I perceived it) and not feeling good enough. The pain of self-betrayal - not listening to myself, my intuition. The pain of not being able to give my son the experience of a nuclear family, of not being there for half his life. And going back further, deeper… the pain of childhood loneliness. My immigrant parents did the best they could in the circumstances they were in, but emotionally and physically they were unavailable.
Heartbreak forced me to finally face my own fears, hurt, and other negative emotions which are all too easy to ignore. But facing them is required for healing. Eventually it paves the way for the good stuff - joy, wisdom, love. Other outcomes of being healed include:
Peace in my mind and in my heart.
Kindness. I show kindness to myself for being imperfect. I show kindness and grace to others for being imperfect too.
Forgiveness. Letting go of grudges and resentment. Forgiveness is for ourselves, not for others.
Improved relationships.
The freedom to choose how to respond instead of react.
Taking responsibility for my own emotions, and not for the emotions of others.
My peace is my power. I am learning to feel my emotions and let them go, but it’s not easy and I must continually work at it. As I grow my love for myself, my capacity to love others grows. To heal the world, we start with healing ourselves.
“heartbreak is not always a sad ending; sometimes it sets in motion a profound transformation. It can open the door to truly loving yourself, becoming more emotionally mature, and learning what type of partner would actually support your happiness.”
The process of building each painting layer by layer is slow and tedious, much like the healing process itself. For this collection, I utilize “negative space painting” as the unifying technique. Negative space painting involves using color, texture or shading to paint around the object. The layers are built from front to back and the focus is on the area around the shape instead of inside the shape.
Here, I am painting my Vietnamese Begonia. Other plants that “modeled” for the collection include Golden Pothos, Alocasia Velvet Elvis, Fiddle-leaf Fig, Phalaenopsis (Moth) Orchid, Jinnie Mae Begonia, and Variegated Spiral Ginger.
